8 Giant Comedies Nobody Can Explain. Who Bought All These Tickets?

Every movie here made at least $761M worldwide. None scored above a 6.8 on movie.guru. Somebody bought all those tickets. It wasn't the critics.

Number one outgrossed everything here, and your kids will file a formal complaint.

1. 8
   Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)5.2

   A $250M shrug that still found $761M of fans.

   Reported $250M budget, $761M worldwide, movie.guru score 5.2. Christian Bale showed up to play a real villain. The movie around him showed up for a sketch show.
2. 7
   Despicable Me 4 (2024)5.8

   Fourth helping, same jokes, $972M anyway.

   $972M worldwide on a reported $100M budget. movie.guru score 5.8, Guru's Take 4.6. Gru is still fun. The plot is a screensaver with a yellow filter.
3. 6
   Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)4.4

   Somehow filed under comedy. The robots were not joking.

   $1.12B worldwide, Rotten Tomatoes 35%, movie.guru score 4.4. The most fun part is guessing which building Michael Bay knocks over next.
4. 5
   A Minecraft Movie (2025)4.4

   Jack Black carried a $960M block of pure noise.

   $960M worldwide, movie.guru score 4.4, CinemaScore B+. The same crowd that yelled through every screening still only gave it a B+. That's the audience grading itself.
5. 4
   Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)3.1

   The worst-reviewed billion on this list, and it's not close.

   Rotten Tomatoes 18%, movie.guru score 3.1. Only $245M domestic, $1.105B worldwide. America mostly sat this one out. The rest of the planet picked up the tab.
6. 3
   The Super Mario Galaxy Movie (2026)5.1

   A Nintendo commercial with a billion-dollar receipt.

   Metacritic 37, critics beat just 20% of movies, $1.01B worldwide anyway. Jack Black earns his check. The script plays like a level select screen.
7. 2
   Aladdin (2019)6.8

   The crowd loved it. That doesn't make it good.

   Audiences beat 84% of movies, critics beat 37%. $1.054B worldwide. Will Smith is having a blast. Guy Ritchie shoots musical numbers like he's waiting for a heist to start.
8. 1
   Minions (2015)5.0

   Biggest gross on the list, thinnest movie on the list.

   $1.159B worldwide on a reported $74M budget. movie.guru score 5.0, Guru's Take 4.4. It's a mascot in a trench coat pretending to be a movie. Your kid disagrees.

$2,317 says the loudest Minions defense in the comments gets typed by somebody's nephew.

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Current mood: ready to fight about it